Returning to Logan

I bet you thought this post had finished already, didn't you? I mean, I haven't posted anything for almost two weeks and summer is over.

Well it's not.

I've moved back "home," but I won't end this project without a decent ending to tie everything together anyway, and yes, the project ends here.

It's a little harder than I thought it would be.

I left Logan thinking I was going to be miserable and complain all summer (was half right, but I almost always complained for fun.) I moved into Midvale and made goals-- some of which I kept and most of which I let myself get distracted from. I was stalked by foreign powers, learned my wallet has a personality, saw a couple movies, and read a couple books.

I made a couple bucks, made a couple friends, made some people laugh, and made out with a couple girls (I'm probably going to regret writing that.)

I bought some things I didn't anticipate buying and went places I didn't expect to go. I learned about myself, how to treat people, and new songs on my new guitar.

My definition of what a friend is and does changed, as did my perspectives on food and clothing. I realized again how some jobs cannot be done perfectly by the people tasked with completing them.

From those paragraphs alone, I can't say this summer has been a waste at all. And from that, I guess I relearned that my goals are constantly changing, or at least the short-term ones are. My overall goal was for this summer not to suck.

Mission accomplished.

I didn't hate Midvale as much as I thought I would, but I won't admit how much I enjoyed it. 

Now I'm all moved into my apartment and back to the writing table for another year of work. I'm not sure how much I'll like my roommates, my classes, or my ward.


Huh.


Those are almost the exact same reservations I had three months ago when I moved to Midvale in the first place. I guess it's just normal to wonder about the near future and how I'll react to different situations.

I learned from this summer blog is that I'll probably react just like I always have. I'll probably always try to make people smile through my childish ways to have fun and complain about it. I'll probably always make others a little upset when I insist on behaving that way. I'll probably always seek the attention of a girl, and I'll probably always find new ways to mess things up with her. I'll probably always enjoy what I've enjoyed for as long as I can remember, and I'll probably always dislike the things I've disliked for as long as I can remember.

Things will change, yes, but not as much as it looks like they will.

One thing is certain; I will always have roots where the sagebrush died, and I will always love the spot where the sagebrush grows. 

Singles ward: the last

For my final post about the craziness I call the singles ward, I was about to (and planning on doing so for some time) talk bad about the ol YSA singles ward, but I think I've done that enough (see posts under "The Ol' YSA Singles Ward").

There are some pretty great people there.

So instead of being THAT douchebag who drives off with the one-finger salute high in the air through the driver's-side window, I'll give a little thank you shout out.

Hopefully this doesn't sound too much like a suicide note or high school yearbook signing session.

• As weird as he often is, Awkward Guy has a good heart. He's a loyal friend. Even though he forgets his wallet whenever we go hang out (he probably just realizes how cool Heather is), he knows all the girls and introduces me. It's hard to be a bad friend when a trade like goes down.

• Baseball Guy is the only one at church today who told me he didn't want me to go back to Logan. The best part was he meant it, which is really nice to know that I actually did make a couple new friends. Sorry bro, there's no way I'm transferring from where the sagebrush grows to stay in Midvale, unless I was offered my dream job with the Salt Lake Tribune. 

• While this list is in no particular order, Climbing Girl would be very near the top of people I'd miss if it were. Even though she didn't miss a chance early on to expose me as the fool I am, we became good friends and confidants to each other. And of course, climbing in Logan with people who aren't her will be a different experience. 

• Climbing Guy provided many good times, both on the rock walls and off. He was pretty much the only one in Midvale worthy of real bro talk. Drink runs won't be the same in Logan without your unfiltered thoughts about women and guns. I'll miss you man, no homo. 

• Ginger was one of the first friends I had in Midvale. Even though she kinda drifted away about a month after I got here, the first month would have sucked without us playing "make-fun-of-the-girl-who-raises-her-hand-all-the-time-in-sunday-school" with her cool basketball-playing ginger friend. 

• It's a bummer I didn't hang out with BYU Idaho Girl nearly as much as I would have liked, but she is still cool and definitely one of the people I'll call up when I periodically come back to Salt Lake. 

• Big Talker is flighty, she was a blast to climb with. Overall a chill woman, and definitely a 2 on a scale of 1 to 2 (a compliment, I assure you).

There are others I have undoubtedly left off of this list for one bonehead reason or another, and to those great people I apologize, so try not to be offended if you know how awesome you are.

CENSORED

Author's note: The following post has been edited to avoid twisting the truth in any way in an attempt to not offend certain readers (see previous post).

Rock Climber, Jordan and I...

Wait I shouldn't name names. Let's try again.

I went rock climbing with two other people.

Hmm, maybe naming the activity is too specific also.

I hung out with two other people and performed an undisclosed recreational activity.

Yep, that'll do.

The three of us may or may not have done the previously mentioned anonymous activity one or more times at one or more locations somewhere in Big Cottonwood Canyon. the United States of America.

While it would be improper to mention whether or not the activity was fun, whether there is visual evidence of said activity, or any memories whatsoever, let it suffice by saying the recreational activity took place and was, in fact, recreational and nothing more.

Wow, what a boring post, at least I didn't offend anyone. Hopefully.

Well, I guess that's the price I'll have to pay to keep friends in Salt Lake.

Don't make me do my Z snap!

Today I found out my blog is not liked by all those who read.

Am I as upset as Gru was when Vector stole the pyramids? NoO I am not!! A little...

However, I will not apologize for my behavior! Also, I don't actually understand what some of these girls in the ol' YSA ward could be offended about. I mean, all of my posts have been entirely fictional. Any similarities between individuals living or dead is entirely coincidental.

Except Awkward. I'm pretty sure we can safely say he's a real person. And Layton/Wingwoman. And Rock Climber has told me he likes the blog. Other than that, everything is fictional.

...There's no way anyone believed that...

Either way, those haters who gohn hate should know of my disrespect for their displeasure. Take it easy gurrfranns. I'm a somewhat easy person to deal with, so just come ask me to take something down or change a post you have a problem with so it doesn't talk about you as much.

Who knows, you might actually enjoy having a civilized conversation with me.

Rock Climbing

For my entire life I've lived within 20 minutes of canyons where the best rock climbing in the world is found. Say what you will about wasted opportunities, but today was my first time ever going.

Yeah, I scaled cliffs. Pretty dangerous. I felt a little bit like Chris O'Donnell in Vertical Limit.

Four of us from the ol singles ward jumped in my friend's truck and went up Big Cottonwood Canyon to some trail my Friend found in this sketchy book from the library. Friend and one of the girls put harnesses on, said some weird climbing words, and Friend climbed up to fasten the rope to the chains at the top of the wall.

When he came down, Belay Girl took the rope and had her turn, cleaning all the carabiners off the bolts as she went.

The other girl went third as I crammed my toes into the climbing shoes Friend obtained for the occasion.

"How hard is this one supposed to be?" I asked.

I was told not to worry about it. How comforting.

"Just put your hands where the chalk residue is," Rapel Girl said after she landed from her descent. "That's what I did because I've never climbed outdoors before."

I'm not sure I went exactly where I was supposed to, but I eventually got to the top and enjoyed a nice rapel back down.

The next one was harder.

I looked up couldn't see any obvious holes. There were a few cracks that looked unsuitable for anything larger than a blade of grass, and just before the top there was a ridiculous overhang that couldn't possibly be part of the climb, right?

I started my ascent and told the girls one of them could have my guitar if I died. It wasn't actually too bad until the overhang. I tried going around, diagonally, and a variety of other ways to get past the lip, all to no avail. The only option was to reach over for a jagged handhold and pull myself up while my legs flailed below.

I failed. My forearms burned, and I could barely lock my fingers onto the jutting rocks, much less pull myself over them.

We ended on an easy one with lots of holes. It proved only a little more difficult than climbing a ladder in some places, which was nice for my ego after failing to pull a Spiderman on wall number two.

Overall, the trip was a success. Even though I can't play guitar because my forearms are dead....

FHE, dancing the night away

There's a huge difference from Logan to Midvale that I completely overlooked.

In Logan, one of the main (or few) nightlife attractions is country swing dancing night at the Fun Park. In Salt Lake, there are actual things to do, so very few of the people in my ward know how to swing dance.

I tricked all the pretty girls into thinking I'm a swing dancing champ, which I guess I am by comparison here. It was kinda cool to go from being a novice in Cache Valley to an expert in Midvale.

The good news: I didn't drop anyone.

Hey, I was pretty rusty. I mean, I don't usually dance unless there's a specific girl it's with, and the last time that was the case was for Statesman Girl 1. Before that it was probably Scotland Cowgirl or No Chin Girl. (I've probably said too much again...)

Anyway, after the dancing, the "in" crowd invited me to get ice cream with them. Ah, the feeling of acceptance being washed down by chocolate ice cream crammed with peanut butter cups was great.

We all got to be bffs and later fb friends and all that stuff. (Maybe I should reconsider some of the things I'm writing...) We played "guess my middle name," which was an okay game and a first for me.

Of course, it didn't hurt to sit between two pretty girls.

Singles ward: one week later

It really pains me to say this, but this week it wasn't so bad.

I mean, aside from priesthood meeting when I walked in late and had to sit by Mr. Acts-Like-He-Owns-The-Place (I ignored his weirdness by tweeting through the meeting), it was a good time at church.

In sunday school and sacrament meeting I've become part of Cute Ginger Girl's back row crew, and it's nice to know I have friends to sit by every week.

Anyway, the point:

In sacrament meeting, right after the high councilman called out the congregation for looking at our phones during his talk (guilty), I decided to set some summer goals. Thinking about how bored I've been, I figured I should prolly meet some new faces.

Let's face it. Not having friends to hang out with blows. That's one of the biggest complaints I have about living in Midvale, because most of my friends have already moved away or got all married. Ew.

Goal: Meet one new person every week.


As soon as I made my mind up to make new friends, I felt like I should probably ask the bishop if I could speak in sacrament meeting-- as if the introductory "It's Stoo-key, not Stuck-ee" from the back of the chapel to the pulpit wasn't awkward enough. 


I also found out our ward plays softball, something I've been dying to do all summer. There will probably be more on that later. 


Back to the goal... 


As soon as church ended, I was stopped by three different groups of girls! Not that it's really out of the ordinary for me to meet girls quickly (no comments from the peanut gallery, please), I was just surprised because all of them wanted to meet me instead of the other way around. 


A quick game summary: 

• Nice Dress Girl is very pretty, seems fun, likes to boulder, and has a wrist tattoo that I find strangely attractive. I could tell from her reaction that she'd been dying for someone to compliment her dress all day.

• BYU Idaho Girl is also pretty, seems fun, gave me her number, and liked my tie. Normally that doesn't mean anything, but she said so as I passed in an obvious attempt to get me to stop. Also, she wanted me to save a dance for her at the country swing fhe coming up. 

• The Group of Four: Not completely sure on all of them, but they're cute enough and not shy. Plus they wanted me to speak Scottish to them. I didn't, but maybe if they're nice to me... One of them added me on the ol facebook the day of church.

• Rock Climbing Girl: People don't usually look great when they're all sweaty and gross, but Rock Climbing Girl is MUCH more attractive in person. She seems cool. 

• Oh, can't forget Cute Ginger Girl. Unless the two phrases after you remember her are "friend zone" and "ginger." (I'm totally going to regret writing this...) All the same, she's way cool. Very sarcastic and very fun. But I guess I didn't meet her today, so maybe she doesn't count after all. 

Life will be much better when I meet new people. Being honest, every new person I meet is probably going to be female anyway, so that's never bad. 

The singles ward

Going to church with the people who have failed to launch has been in the back of my mind since I decided to move to Midvale.

When faced with an experience I'm pretty sure I'll not enjoy, my favorite game is to pretend I'm from Britain.

I think it's hilarious when I can make up any old accent and say I'm from Edinburgh and people will believe me without a second thought. Americans don't know accents well enough to place them anyway.

Plus, da ladies love foreigners.

Alas, my plan to say "alright hen?" to the cute blond sitting up front was foiled when I spot a half-dozen people I knew in high school. Problem was, I was never friends with any of them enough to want to sit close by, so I wandered the hall instead.

I was pretending to study a painting of the resurrection when a cute ginger girl comes around the corner. At first I was afraid for my soul, but then I realized it's a good friend from the year I lived in the port-o-pottie (don't ask...).

We sit on the back row of the sunday school class, catch up, and play "make-fun-of-the-new-girl-who-raises-her-hand-at-every-opportunity-to-share-an-experience-loosely-related-to-the-conversation." This is actually my second-favorite game, so my disappointment of not playing "I'm from Scotland" is quickly erased.

Apparently she just moved in too, because in sacrament meeting the bishop asked her to stand when he awkwardly introduced all the new people in the ward. I chuckled because her face went as red as her hair.

Then a thought crept into my mind: I will have to do the same thing next week when my church records arrive from Logan.