Jorts

I've never been one to spend money on things.

*cough* Cheapskate *cough*

Fortunately, I've lived my entire life with an uncle who was always willing to give me the clothes he'd grown out of (read: fell out of style) five years earlier.

This meant I was wearing Lucky Brand jeans and Abercrombie shirts when (I'm guessing) they weren't in style anymore. In elementary school, I wore old Little League baseball shirts from teams I'd never played on. I had drawers full of old socks, shirts, jeans, a few shoes, and baseball hats.

I never really paid attention to fashion trends in school. I mean, why spend time looking at what dudes wore when I can look at girls... um... clothes?

By the end of last semester, I was probably the only guy on campus to still wear denim shorts. I was out of the country when the whole "Tebow wears Jorts" event went down, okay?

The time has come. My collection of old (and *very* comfortable, might I add) jorts needed to be put to rest.

The same night I got back to Salt Lake after my conquest of the viking lands (read: the time when these blog posts sucked) I called up a friend more fashonable than I and went shopping.

The problem was, it was late enough that all the stores with stylish clothing were closed.

On to Mal*Wart, the source for cheap plastic crap! ...and apparently my new favorite clothing store. Or at least, the place where I purchased my two new pairs (and probably "only" for some time) of cargo shorts.

Goodbye, O ye old pairs of jorts. May you ever rest in peace at the bottom of the bottom drawer of my dresser in my parents' house. May you ever rest in pieces, as I hope one day you will find yourselves as part of a levi quilt; a form which I will undoubtedly enjoy your comfort again.

A form which will carry with it numberless "in your pants" and "that's what she said" jokes.